"Bless his heart, president of the United States, a total failure..."

Nancy, I knew you'd make me love you. Thank you for being a Democrat. Thank you for calling a spade "a spade." Now will you please use your considerable wisdom and wit to pass a reasonable GSE bill? Fannie and Freddie, who control half of the residential mortgage market, are flailing and our two largest private housing finance institutions (Countrywide and IndyMac) are hemorrhaging money right and left.

And you know what this means, Nancy my dear? It means that ordinary taxpayers with ordinary mortgages, and ordinary salaries are going to pay for the speculation, the shady deals, and the absence of credit checks and counseling for people who should have never been given an unsubsidized home loan in the first place. And you know what? We simply can't afford that.

Because certainly you've noticed that a gallon of milk is over $5? Have you noticed that gasoline is $4.50 a gallon? Inflation is a dirty word, and it is only going to get worse if our incomes are further stressed by foreclosure, continued money printing, and loans from foreign governments to the tune of $3 trillion a pop.

Remember the S&L Crisis Nancy. Don't let Henry forget it either.

But I digress. You made me smile, and for that I thank you. But how's about getting some real work done?

PS. When you see Barack around, if you do see him, will you kick him in the pants for me and remind him that he has a job in Illinois?

Akin to getting food poisoning from your mother

From the Chicago Tribune today:

Mice, supermarkets and food safety

Posted by Renee Enna at 10:00 a.m. CDT

The discovery of mouse droppings that closed Whole Foods Market in Lincoln Park offers a sage reminder to cityfolk that we're not the only ones who like food-centered businesses.

The store, at 1000 W. North Ave, was closed Wednesday by the Chicago Department of Public Health after inspectors found mouse feces throughout the premises, including more than 100 droppings in one walk-in cooler alone, according to the department. Also found was a dead mouse on a glueboard trap.

Wednesday's visit was a follow-up to an inspection on June 27, when inspectors ordered management to eliminate the infestation and warned that there would be a re-inspection, according to Tim Hadac, the department's spokesman.

On Wednesday, inspectors found "no compliance," which automatically raises the violation from “serious” to “critical,” which prompted the closing, Hadac said.

___________

This is the second time I've heard of Whole Foods stores in the area being shut down by public health inspectors. While I prefer independent stores and the farmer's market, I don't often have the time to do all that running around, and find myself wandering into Whole Foods on a semi-regular basis. And now I just feel ill.

It's another rant-y day in the neighborhood...

Have a look at this article about Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, who apparently said during an interview in the UK that "it would be absurd" to say that inflicting pain on terrorism suspect is wrong. This creature, who is supposed to be looking out for my rights under the US Constitution actually said the following:

I suppose it's the same thing about so-called torture," he said in the interview. "Is it really so easy to determine that smacking someone in the face to find out where he has hidden the bomb that is about to blow up Los Angeles is prohibited by the Constitution?

Well, Your Honor, I would start with the Bill of Rights, and the part about protection from unreasonable search and seizure; cruel and unusual punishment. And from this article, I can't even determine if he's talking about terrorist suspects or someone caught in the act of performing acts of terrorism.

I absolutely despise how militaristic and violent the US has become. I don't know that we've evolved from the days of the "Wild West." We treat everyone who enters this country like a potential terrorist (come on people, retina scans?) but our terror alert rating has fluctuated between high and elevated since it was enacted. I've yet to see any proof that we're safer than we were in August of 2001. I know that the President likes to say that the proof is in the pudding - we haven't had attack of 9/11 proportions since then. We never experienced terrorism to the extreme it reached in September 2001 before then, and we had no Department of Homeland Security to provide for our safety. I'm not pretending that the World Trade Center bombing in 1993 where six people died, or the Oklahoma City bombing in 1995, in which 168 people died, didn't happen. But we can't go back in time. We'll never know if the DoHS would have prevented the nearly 3,000 deaths of 9/11.

Today, the Senate voted to expand the country's power to spy on people, with no direct protection for US citizens. (According to the New York Times, the bill only provides for checks to see if those the government chooses to watch are US citizens after the fact.) We're still holding people prisoner without trial or charges at Guantanamo Bay, and we're still inflicting capital punishment. The US executed 42 inmates in 10 states during 2007. I am pleased to see that the trend is declining. However, according to Amnesty International, "In 2006, 91 per cent of all known executions took place in just six countries: China, Iran, Pakistan, Iraq, Sudan and the USA." Check out the human rights abuses in these countries. I'm not happy to see the US listed in this grouping.

Check out our newspapers and the local news. We're using violence against each other at an alarming rate. I can hardly bring myself to watch the local news anymore.

As a nation, why are we so aggressive? Where are we hoping it will take us? Why are our own officials supporting this image to the media, and why are we, collectively, representing ourselves in this way?

Read the Label - and Set a Better Table!

This month's Vegetarian Times has all kinds of interesting stuff in it, including this little tidbit that exposes Kellogg's and other companies' production of frankenfoods. Seriously, anyone who wonders why the life expectancy for the average US citizen is falling behind that of other countries why health costs are higher than ever, and why people are obese in this country need look no further than the ingredient statements of their supposed healthy foods.

I am especially grateful of the Center for Science in the Public Interest (the guys who alerted us to the dangers of Kung Pow Chicken) for bringing this to light:

Carrots to Center for Science in the Public Interest, for alerting consumers about misleading health claims on food products. Among those cited are Kellogg's Special K fruit & Yogurt cereal, which "combines the crunch of whole grain goodness, the smooth creaminess of yogurt, and the sweet taste of berries," yet has no berries or real yogurt, and barely any whole wheat. Smucker's Simply Fruit, Gerber Graduates Juice Treats, Multigrain Tostitos and Sara Lee Fruits of the Forest Deep Dish Pie are also on the list. "Companies say just about anything to give their product a health halo,"says Bonnie Liebman, CSPI's nutrition director. "Consumers need to read labels to get the whole story -- and even then it's not always clear."

Fat Kid Sucessfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming

Ok - so check out this video. It is from the onion; it is a made up news story, and I did have a little chuckle at it.

But at the same time, I found it kind of disturbing. But before I ruin the punchline for you why not have a look at it yourself. This will cost you about a minute, and the video is definitely not safe for work.


Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On

All finished?

So this is a real kid - maybe 12-13 years old? And he's overweight for real, and these adults really poked fun at him, and the kid looked like he was going to cry a couple of times, didn't he?

I'm all for teaching kids humility and not covering them in bubble rap so that they never feel the chill of the cruel, cold world outside the womb. But should adults really be ridiculing children for comedic effect?

Check out the fake promo during the last 10 seconds of the clip though. HA!

Gee, I wasn't Feeling Old Enough

With the ragweed season upon us, I've been waking up very congested in the mornings. My allergies have always bothered me in the fall, and I know the drill - 2 Sudafed every 6 hours for three weeks.

Here in Chicago, Sudafed is a controlled substance, because some devious little buggers figured out how to make meth amphetamines out of them. This means that I have to go to the pharmacy to buy them. They scan my license into some database and I'm supposing the machine checks how many milligrams of potential contraband I am buying. I've never been a fan of this system - but if the government really needs to know when I have a stuffy nose, then so be it.

Today though, the pharmacy really went too far. After I paid cash for my drugs, a coupon printed for me on a little side machine. At first I was excited, because I thought it was a coupon. But no- what followed was an application to join the AARP (Association for the Advancement of Retired Persons). The application pronounced:

Congratulations [My Name] and thank you for spending at least $5 at [name of offending pharmacy]. According to our records, you are eligible for membership! Blah, Blah...

The thing goes on to say that membership is reserved for those 50 or over, even if they aren't yet retired.

That's right. These people have it on record that I'm 50. For the record, I'm not even close. The 20-something pharm tech sees my face go dark, and asks me if there is a problem. So I laugh and show her the coupon. "Something must be wrong with the database. I'm not nearly this old," I say. "I don't know," she says, still holding my license. "The information we have comes from the Secretary of State's office, and if they think you are 50, maybe you ought to just apply."

Maybe it is just because my head is all congested, but I just didn't think that was very funny. At first I was just feeling angry. I'm sensitive about my age. But on my way home I wondered how accurate this database of theirs could be if they don't even know my birth date. I mean, the drivers license is our primary ID in the US, isn't it? It makes me laugh to think that maybe when they scan my ID, someone else's name pops up. Maybe they think I'm my mother or some other older person in my family. I don't know if I should check on this with the SoS office or just let it go. The dates on both my passport and my drivers license are correct. So what if they can't type?

I'll tell you so what. I don't think I can just suck it up and let someone - even if it is just a computer database - think that I am 50.

But what's more, I don't understand what any of this has to do with spending at least $5 at the pharmacy, and why am I being congratulated for this?

In Their Natural Habitat

Now this is a creative blogger. I too noticed the proliferation of these empty snack bags all over the north side. In fact, I can even add that the official snack of the northwest side are Doritos. And the fact that I live there has nothing to do with it. At all.

I don't litter.

Help Bet and Stennie kick Cancer's Ass!

Bet and Stennie, the hosts of the award-winning* Podcast, the Hucklebug, will be podcasting short segments every half hour from at 9 AM on Saturday August 11 until 9 AM EST August 12, to raise money for The American Cancer Society . This could very well be the 'athon that raises the very dollar needed to knock Cancer to its knees -- so don't miss out!

Want to participate in the ass kicking?
It's easy! You can help by performing these three easy steps:

1. Download the podcasts directly from Hucklebug.com, or use iTunes or My Yahoo to listen.
2. They entertain, you donate to the American Cancer Society.
3. Stop by the Hucklebug and let them know that you've made a donation.

What is the Hucklebug?
Are you kidding? The Hucklebug is the witty weekly Podcast that is sweeping the nation! Listen to the "ladies" discuss such riveting topics as sex lives of cartoon characters, sexy vs. ugly body parts, Alan Arkin, music, TV, movie reviews, politics and much m0re. Updated every Thursday, the weekly Podcast will make you laugh out loud. if you haven't caught an episode yet, what are you waiting for?

*Awarded "Best Podcast Ever" by FredtheBlog in 2006 and 2007

Nutrition Alert

I went for an extended bike ride today with my beloved Gary Fisher. Aside from the issue of the handlebars coming loose during a ride, everything has been going splendedly with Gary and we are very happy together.

At one point during today's ride I got ridiculously hungry. I hadn't prepared for this eventuality. I had water with me, sure, but food? Feh. So sweaty and gross, I popped into a Dunkin' Donuts to get a bagel (carb loading, right?) I ordered a sesame bagel, no topping, no toast. The lady handed the goods over and then gave me a second bag.

"What's this?" I asked. "A free donut for you on this Independence day!" she said.

"How revolting!!" I thought to myself. I just can't deal with donuts. They burn a hole right through my digestive system, and even if I ever just have one bite, I have indigestion for hours and hours. So I thanked her politely and handed back the bag with the donut.

"OH, watching your weight?" she asked. I tried to explain my situation to her, but she just wouldn't get it. "You know, that bagel has more calories than this donut," she replied instead. I smiled at her, thinking "what an idiot," and made my way outside.

When I got home, I looked this up. By god, she's right!

Apple Fritter has 300 calories (130 from fat) - I pick this one, because if I could eat a donut, I would get this sweet apple-y goodness.

But their best-seller seems to be the Boston Kreme. It has 270 calories, 80 calories from fat.

Now check this out. The sesame bagel, yes my beloved sesame bagel has 380 calories, 70 calories from fat.

Sure, the fat ratio is better on the bagel, but you actually save 80 to 100 calories by eating fried dough and sugar instead of boiled and baked bread.

I just don't understand how this is true. What a sad, sad state of events. I'm not going to stop eating the occasional sesame bagel because of this - but it just doesn't seem fair!

Unplanned Hiatus

So roundabout last week, I was doing a little home-improvement project while making the copies of my CD for the CD Mix Challenge #4, when, in a particularly Dick VanDykesque moment, I tripped over the power cord for the laptop and dropped the poor computer right on its face. Lucky for me, this happened just after I made the last copy of the CD.

In the fall, my hard drive was obliterated. Although I called Dell right away to order a new one, it took an entire week to actually receive it. This experience is worth its own blog, really.

So not only am I behind in my blogging, but I've got 130+ emails to go through. The good news is, I back up my files often enough that I didn't lose much. However, I guess I haven't been backing my address book up right, because it's gone. So if you're ever hoping to get another email from me, please drop me a quick line.

Please do this even if you think I've got your email address memorized. Because I don't memorize anything. I have lots and lots of electronic crutches, and as a result, I remember nothing.

For a change, there is lots to blog about. But not now. I just spent the last FIVE hours reinstalling software and settings and files, and I'm just all geeked out for today.

Ticketmaster: The Antichrist

Wow. I know I've complained about Ticketmaster before, but I think they've gotten more ridiculous with their pricing since the last time I ordered tickets.

Today, Rubycat and I ordered tickets to go see Rush in September. The tickets are expensive, but not really much more expensive than other big shows.

Here's the lowdown on the pricing:

Ticket: $53.75
Bulding Facility Charge $6
Convenience charge: $12.00
Processing Fee $4

So that's $22 dollars in fees. I'm sure that the band is being charged for use of their facility, so why do I have to share the costs? When I have people over to my house, I don't ask them to pay a fraction of my mortgage. And I'll bet you that the bathrooms will still be disgusting.

I don't understand why I paid both a processing and a convenience charge, both to Ticketmaster. As Rubycat so aptly said on the phone, "Who is this convenient for? They're the only vendor!!" And if I went to ticketmaster and bought the tickets in person, I certainly wouldn't spend $12 on transportation. But alas, if you go to the venue and buy the tickets yourself, you still have to pay Ticketmaster's fees.

My favorite fee, which was optional, so I didn't pay it, was the shipping fee. If you want your tickets emailed to you, you can pay $4. You can have them sent via Federal Express for $25, or you can get them sent regular mail. For free. Why on earth are they charging for emails? They don't have to pay any printing or shipping costs, so why should I pay extra for this?

Anyway, I bought the tickets, so I guess the joke is on me. I'm still looking forward to the show.